Lost in the Turbulence

Lost in the Turbulence

Today is July 28th, and as I sit in my room and the stress of the world weighs in on me, I think of a time where my mind was at peace. A time that was far too long ago in my mind but occurred less than a year ago. I wrote in my Journal about this time, and although my journal gives specifics about my life experiences while abroad, I thought it would be too much information for those who weren’t apart of that experience with me. The inside jokes, the friendships gained, the friendships lost, the ability to be lost in a place where no one could help you , the closest family member being a 8 hour flight over the Atlantic Ocean. It was quiet, and quiet was beginning to be something I enjoyed. I feel as if a part of me is left in England, a part of me that I cannot get too because of monetary issues and fear.

Missing the London Breeze

Now that I feel my chances to explore have reached this "imaginary" limit, I reminisce about the times in which my freedom did not have a cap, nor fee. Where I was able to move about the country and the stresses of a 9-5, school and social life was non existent. It was a time that I cherish deep in the pits of my heart. Where my hearts yearns to be. I guess the question is am I happy? Its the happiness of the past, that I seem to latch myself against. The hooks of the Rose Theatre, the Tower of London, Westfield Mall, The Globe Theatre, The London Bridge, The Eye of London, and the art museums the De (my good friend, I met her at Edge Hill University) and I witnessed, that keeps replaying in my mind. I can’t physically hold it, so naturally I am forgetting and that brings me to tears. Its a terrible love and without it I am sick. I am in pain, I am lost. Lost in the times that I can’t relive, with the people I will probably never see again. Its the pain of knowing that there experiences are now what seem to be a distant blurring memory of my undergraduate career. I thought of London everyday since I left, although I only spent a few days there, the architecture is not something you could easily forget. 

The city where  It was the feeling of being in a place that was so unfamiliar that the fear lies in being afraid to not explore it. You have to because like all study abroad trips, there is a closing and as fast as you left the reality of home, the faster you'll will be thrown back into it. It was the freedom I felt with my friends, the freedom to run around the city of London and not hold back one opportunity to be free. At the time, I did not know if the possibility of me once again exploring London would happen, so the amount of walking was necessary, I had to see as much as I could; And that is exactly what we did.   It was just a sense of belonging to something that was greater than me, than us. A new surrounding with people, who not only sounded differently than us, but lived lifestyles that were not typical to America. Seriously, the breakfast was terrible everyday. I would dread the breakfast and I absolutely love breakfast...hmmm the food I will never miss.

The new beginnings where the problems couldn’t permeate is what I cherish the most. I miss the new beginnings. I don’t like routine, and without that city, I feel as if I am in that; a constant routine. Almost like a dog riding with his head hanging out of the window; watching the city as the air hits its face, embracing what can be seen because in a moment of time it will all be gone. A temporary feeling that puts one at peace. I remember packing my bags leaving Edge Hill University with a sickness that not only took over my body but sent me down a spiral depression that I couldn’t wrap my head around. I thought it was because I would miss my friends, the person I cared about, the school that taught me for the past three months, the friendly people, the experience in general, the parties, the talent that overwhelmed the school but I realized it had nothing to do with any person, any party or any particular place. My soul latched to the country, it latched to the idea of starting over. Somewhere between Manchester Airport, London Heathrow, and JFK International Airport and the turbulence and free food, I realized why everyone was sad to be leaving Edge Hill University, It wasn't because of semester was ending but it would truly be the last time all of us would be in the same space for the same reason, it was the experience that we wanted to fully live and the goodbyes that we wanted to avoid. Somewhere between that flight and the movie and the flu I caught, a tear slid down my face. It was the moment that I realized it indeed was over, I was going back to rent, tuition, work, other bills and routine. Oh how I wish I could once again be lost somewhere in that Turbulence once again. 

I’ll See You Again London

<3

Post from December 22, 2014 1:50am

"Currently in New York and awaiting my trip to Atlanta. These past few months have been absolutely amazing. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided to Study abroad, but it honestly was one of the best experiences and decisions I've ever made. I learned a few things about myself and self discovery was one of my biggest challenges. I have made some new connections and life long friendships. I will miss my Brits, the African/Caribbean's, The South Americans, The Asians, and my favorite the Irish! I will defintely miss the cafeteria workers and the house keepers, they were extremely friendly and it was a pleasure to meet them. To all my Americans, FINALLY FOOD WE ENJOY LOLOL . the truth is, I was extremely sad to leave and I definitely will miss Edge Hill University but I know that my journey doesn't stop there. Thanks to everyone who made this trip possible. You are truly appreciated.  I wish everyone I met a wonderful and successful life. God Bless"!

The Fat Vegetarian Diary: Why Did I Become a Vegetarian

The Fat Vegetarian's Diary: Why did I become a Vegetarian               

 (Thought of Creative Names and Failed Miserably.... Moving on)

So people been asking "Reeyana, why are you a vegetarian?" and each time I am asked that question I cringe. Why? Well I usually have to debate with somenone about my personal beliefs and majority of the time, its at the wrong time.  I'm wither at work or at school and I am most likely on a time crunch. And that is the magic time that they will ask me what I'm eating; and I'll respond a vegetarian meal or meatless chik'n tenders, rice and salad. Then they proceed to ask me, what is meatless chik'n strips?(Please imagine that sentence in a mocking voice) I proceed to tell them what it is, though I'm sure they understand the over all gist but I'll just break it down for them a bit and waste ten minutes of my 30 or 60 lunch minute break. Yah. 

Next these Looney Tunes/Friends proceed to tell me how  they could never do it; they love chicken to much and how I am crazy to be giving up all that "deliciousness". "Here try some of my chicken". Oh how I wish  I could insert the rolling eyes emoji. Now, if I wanted to ruin their meals I could easily pull out my phone and show them a slaughter house with the many different death photos and videos of the animals they are currently eating but truth be told they wouldn't stand for that. And why would I ever do that to someone while they are waiting. That would be too much for them. The truth would be too much. Not only do people not care about what they eat but they don't care about how it was prepared. Now that's not my business and I definitely don't intend to start pushing my lifestyle onto anyone but my future family haha but in the same instance shouldn't people be bothered when they do it to me?

Many people have their reasons for being vegan, or vegetarian and for me I consider myself simply vegetarian, I still eat cheese and I refuse to give up French Toast. Well that was until last week. I'll save that for another day but I am thinking of transitioning into a vegan.

So Why Am I A Vegetarian?

BECAUSE I WANT TO BEEE!!!!! Totally just kidding, heres the deal. So Four short years ago, I was in my dorm room late at night, on Facebook, eating when I clicked on a link and started watching inspirational video called " Best Speech You'll Ever Hear" by Gary Yourofsky's . Note I didnt think it was about converting to meat free healthy living but hell I was probably failing one of my test and questioning college and my role in the world. So after I watched it for a few minutes I realized his speech was focused on Animal Rights, and the abuse of the planet. I know some of you may think "She is a loony or some sort of Hippie" but trust me the message is true. Why do humans stuff their faces with animals just to compensate for their hunger. I found myself, feeling empowered that I could help the cause by spending one less dollar in that industry. What does that really mean that I am not buying meat? I honestly do not know, I doubt the meat industry is affected by less contributions of my money but with a team of supporting people, I know that a small crack in the foundation of that broken industry is sure to spread and release more secrets and more harmful environmental facts. The Land, The Water, The Animals and The People are all being contaminated and they are direct results of the environments that happen within these slaughter houses.

                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es6U00LMmC4

Not only was I disgusted but I could not finish my food. I am sure I was eating Cream of Wheat because that was one of my favorite late night snacks. The video showed how the food we ate was created and how much animals had to be tortured just to feed us. How sick people could really be? Really Sick, Imagine someone hanging you upside down and splitting your throat wide open while still fully conscious. Imagine someone stuffing you into a small cage with so many other animals that you can barely breath and most times suffocate because there is not enough air to support your breathing. Imagine being dehorned, branded (on the face), tail docked, castrated, suffering from extreme deprivation, scared and beaten frequently. Imagine all of that in the last sentence without any pain killers. To frightened to finish reading? Well you should be. You should be sick to your stomach that anyone could treat animals that way. Someone is probably out there laughing, saying they are just animals but let me remind you how most of the behaviour's they perform on these animals were once performed on Africans during the Trans- Atlantic Slave Trade. Don't believe so? Here's a few examples: Deprivation, Fear, Beatings, Branding, Cramped traveling spaces, castrations and murder.   and its weird how that one video  not only opened my eyes, it prompted me to feel and be aware of something that was happening to animals around the world for my and the rest of the worlds sick consumption, entertainment, clothing, safety and etc. I am not hear to judge anyone on their lifestyles but only to inform everyone to be aware of what happens to the animals, the land, the environment, the water, the efficiency and the people when you support these industries.

I also watched a new documentary called Earthlings. Now this documentary was about a hour and 40 minutes long I believe but I honestly cried through most of it. It reminded me of Garys original video I watched four years ago. It was more informative and showed you more of what people ignored. Now I don't sit around at home watching videos about Animal Rights, I was actually watching the video about SandraBland's death and the Anonymous groups response to it. Now there is no secret that I actually like Anonymous (is it illegal to say that?). I like the fact that they expose the wrong doings of big institutions. Who doesn't like that? So mean while I was officially liking their page. I saw the promotion for the documentary and next thing you know I went from watching ten minutes until the full documentary ended. Now I will admit I was a tad bit disappointed because I had something to do and I always get lost in time and procrastinate from my original assignment. Anyway, I am posting the link here because I need as many people as possible to watch it not for any special promotion or anything but because I care about fair treatment and even if you continue on your original track at least you know what is happening in the world. As long as you are educated about the cause and the effects then my mind is more at peace then it would be had someone not known. 

What Goes Around Comes Around.... Reap What You Sow

Special Shoutout to my loving father who still thinks that my vegetarianism is a diet that just hasn't been successful because I am still fat. Got to love him hahahah XOXOXOXO