Leaving 2015 in Sehgeh Style

Goodbye 2015...

As 2015 ends and a new year begins, I reflect on the many things that has transpired this year. I am sitting in my room and I just have so many things to ponder about. First things first, the biggest message I have learned this year is "INJUSTICE WILL CONTINUE TO PREVAIL IF ONE CANNOT PROVE AN INJUSTICE HAS ACTUALLY OCCURRED"

I LOVE BEING BLACK!!!

I am a Negro: Black as the night is black, Black like the depths of my Africa.
-Langston Hughes

Was that random? Yes it was but if 2015 hasn't taught me anything other than self love and love for my own people then it hasn't taught me anything. I still fall hopelessly in love with the wrong people, I still workout all day and eat all night, I still hate going into my place of employment, and I still daydream of my life once I get into Yale School of Drama and excel at all possible levels of life.  Of course the tribulations and the hard times will come but I remain positive, and I refuse to entertain the negative that is happening in my life up to this point.

So whats happening with school? 

Graduated from Undergrad.

Applying for Graduate school and completely devastated about the application Fees

Whats happening with your love life?

It is so unstable right now... Hell its all over the place... Think I like someone but he seems to be focused on himself only, but he is teaching me to stay in my lane and not to rush things to fast (or at all). Don't know if I can change his mind or if thats a battle that will inevitably be lost. I guess I'll just have to ride the wave until the storm calms and I can swim to shore. My exes are popping up in my life right and left and I am learning that you do not have to remain friends with someone because you once dated.  

What is happening with your friends? 

My friends are out here being amazing. Some are reaching major milestones in their careers and others are still trying to figure out how to tie differentiate between rent and mortgage, and Some are complacent for the moment, and they haven't found their motivation as of yet.

What is going on with your family?

My dad is sick battling cancer but he said he is getting better. I also refuse to believe that until the doctors tell me he is in the clear. My brother is being a great dad and he is planning to move to Arizona, My baby brother is a genius and my baby sister is a up and coming model (they say she acts a lot like me). My nephews are still adorable and causing a ruckus. I just met my dads side of the family a few months ago and it has been amazing so far, they want to fly me to Guinea in April. I have a few aunts and uncles and my family is much bigger than I thought. 

Whats going on with you? 

I want peace and prosperity. I want love and truth and I want to be free from all negative things in my life. I want to wake up seeing the bright side in everything and everyone and I no longer want to hold any grudges. I want to be so great in this world that it hurts, I want to get better at filmmaking, and acting and most importantly my grammar. I write as if I have never taking a english composition class in my life. I am the queen of run on sentences, lack of punctuation, and length text. I take pride in that but I am too old for that and that is simply unacceptable. I want to be happy but most of all I want to be formidable, and a woman that girls all around the world are inspired by. I want to be able to look at my family and children and say, years ago, I thought I wouldn't win until I made the decision that I would and that I could. I want my girls to be so well respected and loved that they demand respect and attention from all of those who encounter them. I want my sons, nieces, nephews, and etc. to be so respected, powerful, genuine, sweet and intelligent that the mere mention of Sehgeh gives them high praises, and unlimited power. Power that no one can ever take from them. People wonder why I cry and stress so much well its because power doesn't come easy. I don't need the fame for beauty, or anything else thats vain. I require power for my children and their children, and my childrens' children children and so on.  

Any wishes for 2016?

To be great... for opportunities to pour out endlessly... to be formidable... to be a shinning light to someone... to get and be a mentor... to work on set as an actor and director... to donate money to charities all around the world... to travel... to be happy... to stop looking for someone to complete me, and to complete myself... to fall in love with my people... to embrace my culture... to work on my temper... to stop entertaining negative people... to work on my grammar... to blog about what I want...to make him more powerful then he already is... to make my family proud... financial freedom... debt free... I want to be happier and I want everyone around me to be the same <3

Hello 2016... What will I be doing in 2018? That's what I want to know lol 

How was 2015? 

I loved it! It was amazeballs. Shoutout to my family and friends and all those people out there who believe in me even when I don't believe in myself...

Let the Photos Guide Your way....

HALLOWEEN WAS A GREAT. LITTLE RED FROM THE HOODS MEETS

MINNIE FROM DA BLOCK. ALL ABOUT THE CHEESE...NAHMEAN?

My friends summed up in a face expression.... Squad Goals

Jill Scott Performs Powerful Rendition of Billie Holiday's 'Strange Fruit'

Today, as I laid in my bed reflecting on my day at work,  a link on my computer about one of my favorite singers and actresses, Jill Scott, performing Strange Fruit popped up. I instantly clicked on the link because two of my favorite things were in one place, with one sound, and one strong performance and that is Billie Holiday's Strange Fruit and of course Jill Scott.  Before Jill performed her rendition of the song, the audience was greeted by wise words spoken by the timeless Morgan Freeman. Words spoken so thoroughly that even if your eyes weren't open to the problems plaguing the black community, your ears definitely were. Freeman's words did not sugar coat the truth or did they try to refrain from making one feel any negative emotion. It was intended to make you feel aware, now if your awareness makes you feel sad, angry, upset, bothered, or etc. I guess we can settle for that as well, but the fact of the matter is he spoke a truth, a truth in a tone that was so dark, so truthful, so still that the light in the message itself could illuminate the room. Freeman said "The images that we see all too often, on the news, are haunting, and haunt us they should; as vivid reminders that we have not come as far as we like to imagine".

 This happens within the same few days of the video of the Black Chicago teenager, Laquan McDonald being shot 16 times by Chicago Police Officer was released. This is the same video that they tried to keep a secret, that people said the boy was probably in the wrong and deserved it. This is the same video that brings fear and anger into the eyes of any one who watches it. Fear that are children will never be more that a skin color that is not wanted, the fear that it may one day be the image or video of one of our children who's body lays out on the cold ground as life slips from its grips. As his body hit the ground in the video and his body jerks, I think of the pain his family will never be able to forget. The snatching of a life that his fellow brothers experienced decades ago in lynch crimes. Crimes against those who skin color was deemed inappropriate and whose body burned and hung fighting the wind through the night into the morning sun. it  combined with Jill Scott's chilling performance left goosebumps on my body. 

"Strange Fruits", originally started as a poem by a white Jewish poet by the name of Abel Meeropol,  but once Billie Holiday got her hands onto it, the master piece had yet another greater purpose. Decades later, and it is still one of the most powerful, Black movement songs to date. A song about pain, struggle, and the reality of so many people in the 20th century. Women, Men and Children lives taken from them, and left to be stripped of their pride, and lives to be just bodies with untold stories that never will be completed, just bodies swinging from trees for the amusement of cowards.

Jill Scott along with other popular artist such as Pharell Williams, Ed Sheeran, Jamie Foxx, Pink Alicia Keys, John Legend, Miguel, and a few more great artist performed to address and bring awareness to racial inequality. The racial inequity that plagues America. The racial inequality that forces parents to teach their children that their lives are precious but could end in any moment simply for the melanin tied into their bodies. I rented a book in my sophomore year of college at Clark Atlanta University called Lynching in America, I needed the book to do a research paper on laws and codes such as slave codes, Jim crow and any others that Black men and women were forced to accept during any period of time within the U.S., not forgetting to mention Black incarceration rates  and methods of punishment for Black people in the 19th and 20th Century, as well as in the present day. I then stumbled upon a book called The New Jim Crow, which was authored by the brilliant Michelle Alexander and she describes the way the system has been fixed to redesign racial caste systems in America.  This book made me question if the "system" would ever be able to be fixed. A question, that still goes unanswered. Just another question drifting into the breeze, just another body lost to violence, just another person lost to racial inequality... 

There is so much one could say, and only a small piece of the pie would be tasted. These issues happening within one community is devastatingly painful but doesn't prevent the issues from being none the less real.  

Straight Outta Compton: Reaction

Straight Outta Compton Reaction: Original Posted months ago

With tantalizing, and informative rhymes that ripped the streets of the West coast - N.W.A 

gave a new  sound to the world of Hip Hop. Plaguing the world with lyrics that highlighted the police brutality and the perplexities of impoverished lifestyles associated with living within the hoods of Compton, that eventually began spreading relateable information through their lyrics that people from the west to the east coast could identify with, bringing about a 

form of solidarity and unity amongst all street gangs.

Straight Outta Compton was extremely good. From the cinematography to the directing to the acting. Quite honestly I haven't seen a biopic this good since well, Whats Love Got to Do with it! Initially I thought it would be like another bad biopic but I still wanted to support the film because we need more back representation on television, on stage, in the box office, in the stores etc. Black Talent has been undermined and under appreciated for way too long, and it was great too see so many talented people in a film that hit major national numbers. The popularity of the film and the amount of people it brought it It reminded me of what it may have been like to go to the movies in the 80's and 90's when Black Classics such as Boyz in the Hood, the Friday Franchise, Don't Be A Menance, Set it Off etc. came out. Huge Shout out to F. Gary Gary and his creative directing skills that brought those and so many other amazing films to life. 

Back to Straight Outta Compton: From the very beginning of the movie the comedic side of the film was introduced, when Ice Cube (Played by his son O'Shea Jackson Jr.) made a joke about the gang member who got on the bus and gave them a motivational speech about not getting involved with gang banging; the jokes were uphill from there. The story of NWA was not only exciting but uplifting. When the movie premiered movie theatres were upping their police security and I was so confused as to why until the movie released. The movie released at a time when a lot of police brutality and injustice toward the black community was making headlines throughout the world, still is till this day. Not only did people become angered but people realized that fighting for something bigger than yourself is important. why shouldn't we fight for those black little boys and girls who will be subjected to police brutality sometime in their lives, why shouldn't we be upset about how our brothers and sisters are being killed left and right to the violence of police brutality, hate crimes and gang rivalry? You may think Straight Outta Compton is a film that only insinuates hate but it doesn't. It doesn't leave cops out to dry for their crappy behavior, it pulls in gang members as well. Easy-E's story portrayed by Jason Mitchell  had to be the most touching, from comedic to tough to vulnerable to serious to dying, this is one of the only actors throughout the film that made me believe every ounce of this performance . He not only made the audience laugh and cry but he inspired many of the audience members to learn to apologize and be man/ woman enough to admit you are wrong. Once again, I won't say all of my opinion on this matter simply because I want everyone to see it and it give their opinions about it. Lets just say, the movie of the year award would go to this movie here. Hands down!

Leave Them Behind

     So you think you miss your ex?

What is it about them that you can't seem to forget? their eyes, their  scent, the warm kisses, the massages, sweet text messages, sweet phone calls, the forehead kisses, the way they cared about the little things that mattered to you or the times you had to remind him of the things they shouldn't forget, the arguments, the pain, the rebuilding, the love, the lust, the sex, the prospects of a future together? What was it?

For me it was as simple as an accent. As complicated as it was to understand him sometimes, that is what I missed the most. We argued a lot and sometimes it felt like I couldn't figure out my own life because I was so busy trying to figure out what I did wrong and how all my attempts at fixing things in our relationship wasn't working. So many days I would have a depressing date with my past (pity party with non alcoholic beverages). I would make dinner, play music that we both liked, read old text messages, search through old emails we shared, pictures we had taken, videos we had made, and all the other things that we shared as a couple that I hid in my email. This secret stash had a name for it called "Do Not Open Ever" I save all information from previous relationships and I try to never open them. You never know when you have to catch someone in their pathetic lie. But I did TRY, but like most humans, I am flawed and sometimes I did sneak into the crevasses of my mind to daydream about the boy or boys I once loved and the separate lives we would've had, had only I left their trifling asses sooner.

If only I would've learnt to leave them alone sooner. I would've avoided a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. It seemed at the times we were together that those were my happiest moments and then I realised it was not. It was my most gullible moments. I would really believe anything they told me because I was so lost in "LOVE" with them. I was young and naive, because clearly I am only 22. How much love can one person be in when the first fell in love in the 11th grade? Anyway, so I decided to make this post because well I want to encourage other women out there to leave him behind and move on. Yes I think about my exes sometimes, and they always seem to hit me up after not hearing from me for long periods of times but the problem starts when I respond. It would be a terrible lie for me to say I don't miss them as well but to much heart break will drive a sane person crazy. I've also heard men only miss you when you are "looking good" or "doing good". Remember that the next time he inbox you on Facebook, direct messages you on Twitter, Snaps you on Snapchat,  or tries to slide in your DM's on Instagram.

So why do I miss my exes ? I don't! I miss one of my exes but I've been trying to block his trifling self out of my life but he always seems to pop up, no matter how much I avoid my social media the day I decide to comeback he usually is the first picture or a few finger scrolls downs. FML! But why do I miss him? What is it that makes me think of him? Other than the fact that we spent so much time around each other and built a genuine friendship. I think I know why... There are a few things that make me miss my exes and usually its the amount of shit they own that is sitting around my apartment, that I have yet to give back ( that I'll never give it back) or things that they liked me wearing or doing.

These things serve as a constant reminder of the good times, and they range from old clothing articles, perfumes, diamond earrings, lipstick colors (Cyber),  to candle sets, bracelets for valentines day, and a list of other crap that I am obsessed with and that I fight to keep apart of me.

So here I am, telling you all to let go of your exes and my exes are a constant reminder that I have yet to do so as well. See  the hard part about moving on is actually moving on. Do we just forget about all the good times and , but I will tell you anyway. I have acknowledged that I have a problem and I have acknowledged that I have zero negative feelings toward any of my exes. Where they perfect? No! Hell am I perfect ? Yes (NO)! Were they all gentleman? No! Were they all respectful? Not always! Were they faithful? Most of them! Were they Honest? Most of them! Were they all capable of being loved, respected and blessed? Yes but not by me. I was not the woman to change them. I refused to hold their hands and allow them to run over me. (Please note that I am using them as examples in group form but these relationships happened through many different time periods).

Being someones ex is not always a negative thing and it is definitely not always a positive thing. It just means that two people were not compatible enough for a life long relationship. Has all my former relationships left off on good notes? Hecks no! I am sure they all hate or hated me at some point. That's not the point though, the point is simply why couldn't I leave them behind. Simply put, I still dreamt of the day when we could be together. I would dream of the marriage, the house, the happiness, the children, the careers, the good never the bad, the perfect family but I what I failed to do was be realistic. Rushing your relationship or pretending to be perfect doesn't make it a perfect relationship, it simply makes your relationship a ticking time bomb. How many times will you bite your tongue when they are getting on your last nerves just to preserve the image of your perfect relationship? How many times will you forgive someone for the same thing just to uphold the reputation? I'll tell you! You will hold it until you cannot possibly take it any longer, now whether that's it next week or thirty years from now, it will happen. Look at all those relationships out there that are forcing their happiness for status and fame. If that is what you want then so be it. Just remember that you are not the only person in control of the relationship. One day you might wake up and that person has decided that they don't want to be with you, and you will have to marinate on all the time wasted because you want to keep up the image. The question is how much time do you have to spare? 30 minutes, 30 days, or 20 years. If you are not happy, leave them behind.

 Sometimes you have to leave things in the past or they will always be a reminder that you are settling. No matter how cute or attractive they are, your well being is more important. So who cares if you miss them? Leave them behind because you may waste a lot of time and energy for someone who doesn't deserve it. Leave the behind and move the hell on! You and I cannot keep singing the same sad songs.

Lost in the Turbulence

Lost in the Turbulence

Today is July 28th, and as I sit in my room and the stress of the world weighs in on me, I think of a time where my mind was at peace. A time that was far too long ago in my mind but occurred less than a year ago. I wrote in my Journal about this time, and although my journal gives specifics about my life experiences while abroad, I thought it would be too much information for those who weren’t apart of that experience with me. The inside jokes, the friendships gained, the friendships lost, the ability to be lost in a place where no one could help you , the closest family member being a 8 hour flight over the Atlantic Ocean. It was quiet, and quiet was beginning to be something I enjoyed. I feel as if a part of me is left in England, a part of me that I cannot get too because of monetary issues and fear.

Missing the London Breeze

Now that I feel my chances to explore have reached this "imaginary" limit, I reminisce about the times in which my freedom did not have a cap, nor fee. Where I was able to move about the country and the stresses of a 9-5, school and social life was non existent. It was a time that I cherish deep in the pits of my heart. Where my hearts yearns to be. I guess the question is am I happy? Its the happiness of the past, that I seem to latch myself against. The hooks of the Rose Theatre, the Tower of London, Westfield Mall, The Globe Theatre, The London Bridge, The Eye of London, and the art museums the De (my good friend, I met her at Edge Hill University) and I witnessed, that keeps replaying in my mind. I can’t physically hold it, so naturally I am forgetting and that brings me to tears. Its a terrible love and without it I am sick. I am in pain, I am lost. Lost in the times that I can’t relive, with the people I will probably never see again. Its the pain of knowing that there experiences are now what seem to be a distant blurring memory of my undergraduate career. I thought of London everyday since I left, although I only spent a few days there, the architecture is not something you could easily forget. 

The city where  It was the feeling of being in a place that was so unfamiliar that the fear lies in being afraid to not explore it. You have to because like all study abroad trips, there is a closing and as fast as you left the reality of home, the faster you'll will be thrown back into it. It was the freedom I felt with my friends, the freedom to run around the city of London and not hold back one opportunity to be free. At the time, I did not know if the possibility of me once again exploring London would happen, so the amount of walking was necessary, I had to see as much as I could; And that is exactly what we did.   It was just a sense of belonging to something that was greater than me, than us. A new surrounding with people, who not only sounded differently than us, but lived lifestyles that were not typical to America. Seriously, the breakfast was terrible everyday. I would dread the breakfast and I absolutely love breakfast...hmmm the food I will never miss.

The new beginnings where the problems couldn’t permeate is what I cherish the most. I miss the new beginnings. I don’t like routine, and without that city, I feel as if I am in that; a constant routine. Almost like a dog riding with his head hanging out of the window; watching the city as the air hits its face, embracing what can be seen because in a moment of time it will all be gone. A temporary feeling that puts one at peace. I remember packing my bags leaving Edge Hill University with a sickness that not only took over my body but sent me down a spiral depression that I couldn’t wrap my head around. I thought it was because I would miss my friends, the person I cared about, the school that taught me for the past three months, the friendly people, the experience in general, the parties, the talent that overwhelmed the school but I realized it had nothing to do with any person, any party or any particular place. My soul latched to the country, it latched to the idea of starting over. Somewhere between Manchester Airport, London Heathrow, and JFK International Airport and the turbulence and free food, I realized why everyone was sad to be leaving Edge Hill University, It wasn't because of semester was ending but it would truly be the last time all of us would be in the same space for the same reason, it was the experience that we wanted to fully live and the goodbyes that we wanted to avoid. Somewhere between that flight and the movie and the flu I caught, a tear slid down my face. It was the moment that I realized it indeed was over, I was going back to rent, tuition, work, other bills and routine. Oh how I wish I could once again be lost somewhere in that Turbulence once again. 

I’ll See You Again London

<3

Post from December 22, 2014 1:50am

"Currently in New York and awaiting my trip to Atlanta. These past few months have been absolutely amazing. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided to Study abroad, but it honestly was one of the best experiences and decisions I've ever made. I learned a few things about myself and self discovery was one of my biggest challenges. I have made some new connections and life long friendships. I will miss my Brits, the African/Caribbean's, The South Americans, The Asians, and my favorite the Irish! I will defintely miss the cafeteria workers and the house keepers, they were extremely friendly and it was a pleasure to meet them. To all my Americans, FINALLY FOOD WE ENJOY LOLOL . the truth is, I was extremely sad to leave and I definitely will miss Edge Hill University but I know that my journey doesn't stop there. Thanks to everyone who made this trip possible. You are truly appreciated.  I wish everyone I met a wonderful and successful life. God Bless"!

The Fat Vegetarian Diary: Why Did I Become a Vegetarian

The Fat Vegetarian's Diary: Why did I become a Vegetarian               

 (Thought of Creative Names and Failed Miserably.... Moving on)

So people been asking "Reeyana, why are you a vegetarian?" and each time I am asked that question I cringe. Why? Well I usually have to debate with somenone about my personal beliefs and majority of the time, its at the wrong time.  I'm wither at work or at school and I am most likely on a time crunch. And that is the magic time that they will ask me what I'm eating; and I'll respond a vegetarian meal or meatless chik'n tenders, rice and salad. Then they proceed to ask me, what is meatless chik'n strips?(Please imagine that sentence in a mocking voice) I proceed to tell them what it is, though I'm sure they understand the over all gist but I'll just break it down for them a bit and waste ten minutes of my 30 or 60 lunch minute break. Yah. 

Next these Looney Tunes/Friends proceed to tell me how  they could never do it; they love chicken to much and how I am crazy to be giving up all that "deliciousness". "Here try some of my chicken". Oh how I wish  I could insert the rolling eyes emoji. Now, if I wanted to ruin their meals I could easily pull out my phone and show them a slaughter house with the many different death photos and videos of the animals they are currently eating but truth be told they wouldn't stand for that. And why would I ever do that to someone while they are waiting. That would be too much for them. The truth would be too much. Not only do people not care about what they eat but they don't care about how it was prepared. Now that's not my business and I definitely don't intend to start pushing my lifestyle onto anyone but my future family haha but in the same instance shouldn't people be bothered when they do it to me?

Many people have their reasons for being vegan, or vegetarian and for me I consider myself simply vegetarian, I still eat cheese and I refuse to give up French Toast. Well that was until last week. I'll save that for another day but I am thinking of transitioning into a vegan.

So Why Am I A Vegetarian?

BECAUSE I WANT TO BEEE!!!!! Totally just kidding, heres the deal. So Four short years ago, I was in my dorm room late at night, on Facebook, eating when I clicked on a link and started watching inspirational video called " Best Speech You'll Ever Hear" by Gary Yourofsky's . Note I didnt think it was about converting to meat free healthy living but hell I was probably failing one of my test and questioning college and my role in the world. So after I watched it for a few minutes I realized his speech was focused on Animal Rights, and the abuse of the planet. I know some of you may think "She is a loony or some sort of Hippie" but trust me the message is true. Why do humans stuff their faces with animals just to compensate for their hunger. I found myself, feeling empowered that I could help the cause by spending one less dollar in that industry. What does that really mean that I am not buying meat? I honestly do not know, I doubt the meat industry is affected by less contributions of my money but with a team of supporting people, I know that a small crack in the foundation of that broken industry is sure to spread and release more secrets and more harmful environmental facts. The Land, The Water, The Animals and The People are all being contaminated and they are direct results of the environments that happen within these slaughter houses.

                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es6U00LMmC4

Not only was I disgusted but I could not finish my food. I am sure I was eating Cream of Wheat because that was one of my favorite late night snacks. The video showed how the food we ate was created and how much animals had to be tortured just to feed us. How sick people could really be? Really Sick, Imagine someone hanging you upside down and splitting your throat wide open while still fully conscious. Imagine someone stuffing you into a small cage with so many other animals that you can barely breath and most times suffocate because there is not enough air to support your breathing. Imagine being dehorned, branded (on the face), tail docked, castrated, suffering from extreme deprivation, scared and beaten frequently. Imagine all of that in the last sentence without any pain killers. To frightened to finish reading? Well you should be. You should be sick to your stomach that anyone could treat animals that way. Someone is probably out there laughing, saying they are just animals but let me remind you how most of the behaviour's they perform on these animals were once performed on Africans during the Trans- Atlantic Slave Trade. Don't believe so? Here's a few examples: Deprivation, Fear, Beatings, Branding, Cramped traveling spaces, castrations and murder.   and its weird how that one video  not only opened my eyes, it prompted me to feel and be aware of something that was happening to animals around the world for my and the rest of the worlds sick consumption, entertainment, clothing, safety and etc. I am not hear to judge anyone on their lifestyles but only to inform everyone to be aware of what happens to the animals, the land, the environment, the water, the efficiency and the people when you support these industries.

I also watched a new documentary called Earthlings. Now this documentary was about a hour and 40 minutes long I believe but I honestly cried through most of it. It reminded me of Garys original video I watched four years ago. It was more informative and showed you more of what people ignored. Now I don't sit around at home watching videos about Animal Rights, I was actually watching the video about SandraBland's death and the Anonymous groups response to it. Now there is no secret that I actually like Anonymous (is it illegal to say that?). I like the fact that they expose the wrong doings of big institutions. Who doesn't like that? So mean while I was officially liking their page. I saw the promotion for the documentary and next thing you know I went from watching ten minutes until the full documentary ended. Now I will admit I was a tad bit disappointed because I had something to do and I always get lost in time and procrastinate from my original assignment. Anyway, I am posting the link here because I need as many people as possible to watch it not for any special promotion or anything but because I care about fair treatment and even if you continue on your original track at least you know what is happening in the world. As long as you are educated about the cause and the effects then my mind is more at peace then it would be had someone not known. 

What Goes Around Comes Around.... Reap What You Sow

Special Shoutout to my loving father who still thinks that my vegetarianism is a diet that just hasn't been successful because I am still fat. Got to love him hahahah XOXOXOXO

Post Graduation Reflection

Post Graduation Reflection:

Wha la! I graduated from Clark Atlanta University on May 18th, 2015 and I feel great. So many people have asked me "Reeyana, are you sad? Will you miss us? What is next"? Well, you all have asked and I now have an answer.

I am not sad, distressed, or in any for of pain. I am relieved. I am relieved that my journey on this path called life has given me the opportunity to complete a goal I made four years ago. A goal that I can stand proud and say I reached. Now that I have completed that journey and closed that door. I am on to bigger and better things. My next journey is to receive my MFA in Acting from the most renowned and illustrious Conservatory in the world. One that helps the greats become greater and teaches the truth of the craft. This institution has produced these greats... So can you guess which university it is?

Meryl Streep, Angela Bassett, Lupita Nyong'o, Sanaa Lathan, and Lynn Nottage (Playwright, Ruined)

High School Goals:

1: Move to Atlanta

2: Attend Clark Atlanta University

3: Graduate with a 3.5 or Better

4: Get into a Honor Society

5: Receive a Latin Honor Upon Graduating.

6: Attend the actors corp

7: Graduate from the Yale School of Drama

May 19th (Also My BDAY) Facebook Post: "30 A's, 10 B's, and 5 C's and I officially graduated from Clark Atlanta University yesterday! Now MAY 19, I'm officially 22! Now to tongues and Groove. Im super excited and although things have been happening that are crazy, I'm still excited"!

Not to say that I am glad that school is over, but  I am happy for the growth that has followed me these last few years. These last few years have set me up for one of the most amazing experiences that I could ever imagine. I remember being lost back in the ghettos where I am from. I remember being tired of struggling, I remember the opportunities that were presented to me that weren't presented to everyone else, I remember striving to be a good student my last year in high school, I remember the fighting, I remember the hatred, I remember my mothers death, most of all I remember the guilt I felt for not getting my parents out of that environment sooner. I just kept saying,if only I had been born earlier than maybe, I could be someone and we could all move to a better community. But time was not on our sides. I remember not being the best student in high school and behaving in a way that was not only immature but hazardous to my future. I also remember the consequences of bad choices in high school being a constant reminder of loans I had to take out instead scholarships that were given for students with high superior academics, I remember the guilt I felt when I was not one of them. I remember but it no longer holds as a pain in my heart,  I walked out of undergrad with a 3.5 GPA, Magna Cum Laude Latin Honors, Alpha Kappa Mu, and Lambda Pi Eta Honor Society Memberships, Film Study Abroad Experience and a respect for filmmaking and media. My collegiate goals began to grow, and so did the fear and self doubt. 

No I was not a pre med major, Humanities, religion, Law, Business etc. I was a Radio, Television and Film major who aspires to be an actress! Yes, as cliche as it may sound. I openly claim that I am an actress and filmmaker, and it took a lot of self love to get me there. Four years ago, I said I am going to be that actress that gives my city the representation it deserves (KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI) and I set out to find the path that could eventually lead me there. Along my journey, I came across a major called Mass Media  Arts and of course, I did not know what it was nor did I feel the need to find out. AS I entered into my junior year:

Collegiate Goals:

1. Graduate on time

2. Pay off student loans as soon as possible

3. Study Abroad

4. Complete a Documentary about something you care about

5. Create a Production House

6. Make something of myself

7. Graduate with a 3.5 GPA

8. Get involved on campus

9. Mentor girls in the surrounding neighborhoods

10.Be successful in Acting and Filmmaking

11. Intern and Intern some more

12. Find A Job

Post Graduate Goals: 

1. Sleep like a baby (Simile Fun)

2. Find a job

3. Apply and Get into Yale School of Drama

4. Become a Humanitarian

5. Create a Production House

6. Create Scripts, Direct, Act in and Produce them

7. Be Successful in Acting and Filmmaking

8. Keep Working and never give up

I must admit for the first couple of weeks, I slept like a baby. Why? I honestly do not know. I feel as if the sleep deprivation from the last few years realized I graduated and put me into a temporary coma . I slept all day, and I worked on my website, monologues, cover letter, resume, DIY videos, and social media all night. The  experience differs incomparably from undergrad and high school. I was a child in high school 16 years old and a rebel without an cause. At that time I had a support system, my mother and my father but the clock kept ticking and eventually that system would break. Before I turned 17, my mother was dead and by time I turned 21 my father revealed he was battling stage 4 cancer. I remember wishing that I could turn back the time and catch the problems before the existed, but as we all know its just a wish and certain things just do not come true. I remember graduating with a 2.5 and being excited to walk across the stage and receive my diploma, then I also remember taking the AP english course and being the third highest marking student in the course. The first two? Oh they were the Valedictorian and Salutatorian! I remember us being the only students with an A in the course, and the pain I felt not being able to represent the top 10% like I know I should have. The guilt I still feel, but the relief I feel knowing that the journey has just begun.

I am happy yet again, although I managed some storms it was nice to see my vision coming clear again. It was nice to hear that my professor said I was the best emerging filmmaker out of my class, it was nice to feel appreciated because you have excelled both in class and outside of the confinements of those walls. I am happy that I have spent my last four years in Atlanta, studying at Clark Atlanta University but now it is time that I take my career in the next direction. I cannot expect to give back to the world, if I only dream. I have to wake up and do.

<3

The Power of Black Woman

      THE FORMIDABLE WOMAN REVIEWS: THE POWER OF BLACK WOMEN

I am starting something new and cool and it is called The Formidable Woman. This is a section on my blog where I highlight woman in all industries that are uplifting and breaking barriers almost the community and the world. This will serve as an Ode to the many great woman of have struggled to get us into the many industries that we were once not allowed to join and to the younger woman and girls who are insisting on making a change in the world. Positive news and strong as far away from celebrity drama and gossip as possible. This Week I am highlighting a women of true integrity and poise. My good friend and fellow Clark Atlanta University Alumna, Lauren Martinez.

I am excited for this months issue of Rolling Out Magazine because it highlights the progression of black woman in Hollywood. Did you hear what I said? The Cover Story of Rolling Out magazine is about the power of Black Woman in Hollywood. Not only is the article important and critical for black woman to read but for our community of black children, nieces, friends, associates and every girl and woman of color around the world. We must lead by positive example to eradicate the negative stereotypical images that women of color have been held pigeon hold to for centuries. It's also important to share this because my dear friend, and CAU alumna, Lauren Martinez wrote it with the thought of several woman in mind. 

The issue discussed the progressions of a few film and tv favorites, Including KeKe Palmer, Taraji P. Henson, Tika Sumpter, and Angela Simmons. As rising icons and formidable women, we also see these women using their platforms and fame to discuss not just their roles in the industry but the war against black women and cultural issues alike. Breaking the stereotypical propaganda that black women are "Ghetto", "Misguided", "Baby Mothers", and "welfare/social service dependents" has etc., their fame in the past few years have given hope and inspirations to girls and women around the world. Why is this important? It is important because if the Black woman doesn't do it, than social media will. Black women rising in power owe it to educate, uplift, and inspire other black women because the system that we live in, has taught our sisters that we are inferior, we are unappreciated and that our beauty is contingent on the european standard of beauty i.e. (we don't have any, unless someone gives it to us, its accident and/ or someone allows us to have it).

Martinez addressed the issues of limited acting roles for women of color and how these beauties did not let that deter them from their goals. Many of these women that are highly celebrated were once apart of the inner city community where dreams of being a star is essentially just that; a dream. However they were capable of making and leaving a lasting mark on Hollywood, and thus helped in reversing the negative image of black women. 

Believe in us and work to inspire the next generation to believe in themselves, no amount of adversity can keep you from success only you can. Love the melanin you are in, to my formidable black queens and princesses ! 

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